Separate Bedrooms


Some studies suggest that up to 25% of co-habitating partiners, married or not, sleep in separate beds.

More and more homebuilders are builiding houses with two master bedrooms.

My husband and I have separate bedrooms. We have for 8 years – our whole marriage, just about.

What is the first thing you think about us when you hear that we have separate rooms?  That we must have grown apart? We have a marriage more for convenience? That we’re only together for the kids? That we have a sexless marriage? That we just can’t stand to be that close together?

Well, all of that can be farther from the truth. I started sleeping on the couch all those years ago because I was diagnosed with RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis), was still in the very painful early stages before medications helped, and found it physically impossible to sleep in a bed for a year.

When the time came that my pain was under control, my husband and I BOTH decided that I would make the spare bedroom all my own.

I”ve always been a late owl anyway, and he is an early bird. I go to bed sometimes 5 hours later than him. So anytime I would go to bed, I would disturb his deep sleep.

I like to read before falling asleep, or play a game or two on my phone.

I have sinus problems, especially during winter, so I’m always blowing my nose.

I get up to pee 2-3 times through the night.

I sleep later than Brad, so he would disturb me when he gets up.

I’m a very light sleeper, and Brad snores and gets restless leg syndrome all the time.

And apparently, I snore as well…

I share my room (since we moved into this house) with my stepdaughter, who comes to stay only two or three weekends each month, and during those weekends I sleep with my husband. Last night, after finally getting to sleep, I feel a hand on my shoulder…”Kelly, could you roll over? You’re snoring.” This, after listening to him snore for a half an hour after I went to bed.

This morning I got up, long after him, and he informs me he recorded me snoring. The audio was quite funny. I have this gutteral, fluttery, deep-throat sounding snore. I’ll have to record him tonight.

Before you ask if we still have a sex life, well of course we do. I never forget him on his birthday.

I’m curious. Do any of you have separate bedrooms? What are your reasons?

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One thought on “Separate Bedrooms

  1. I personally don’t but I had some friends in FL who did for some of the same reason. Might I suggest when the step daughter comes to visit either explain the situation or make a temporary “nest” for one of you in your closet.

    Liked by 2 people

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