There is a lot of buzz right now about popular canadian radio host Jian Ghomeshi being fired from CBC because “the risk of the perception that may come from a story that could come out.” They’re his words.
The black and white of it is simple…he is accused by multiple women of crossing the line to criminal sexual behaviour.
You can read his open letter here, but I’m not going to spend any time here talking about his explanation of the details of his dismissal.
I will say, however, that I have read all of the comments to the above mentioned letter, and a conservative guess is that 80% of the comments are in support of Jian, demanding that CBC give him his job back. I also commented; my feelings seemingly in the minority.
From all of this and the other buzz about “rape culture”, a twitter trend has quickly developed…#BeenRapedNeverReported.
Women are coming out from every nook and cranny revealing how they have been raped/sexually assaulted and never reported it for some reason or another…and their reasons are heartbreaking. Read here about this.
It’s time to break the silence and shine a bright spotlight on the damage this is doing to women around the world. These women are your mothers, daughters, granddaughters, and best friends. They are people like me.
I was never raped, according to the general consensus of what the word rape means. I was sexually violated/assaulted three times, however, and never reported it.
The first time, I was 17 and sought safety and refuge at my uncle’s place from issues at home. I was sexually assaulted by him and his wife while I slept. I moved out immediately and never spoke of it much. I told my mother years later. She had a difficult time believing they were capable.
The second time, I used my head to avoid things from getting any worse by tricking the man who had me pinned against his wall in his apartment. I tricked him by playing a willing participant, saying I needed a few moments to get ready for him, giving me time get the hell out of there. I was 19. “no harm done” I thought.
Third time was in 2000 by a neurologist in Lethbridge, Alberta while my (then) husband waited in the waiting room. I can’t really explain why I didn’t tell anyone about it. I was considered someone who was mentally strong and always stood up for myself, but the thought of going up against someone like that scared the hell out of me.
I still regret not reporting these incidents to someone to hold these people accountable. Like I said, I didn’t consider what happened to be rape, but they were most definitely sexual violations and assault. Maybe speaking of it now, along with the hundreds of other brave women, will help encourage other survivors (I hate the word ‘victims’) to take it a step further and report the crimes.
We all need to quit taking these all-too-common incidents so lightly. Too many men have a sense of entitlement when it comes to sex (and yes, women are capable of such things as well). Women need to discuss their boundaries, and if these boundaries are crossed, we need to stand up, be brave, and hold people accountable. It’s not okay to be violated.
Here’s to the #BeenRapedNeverReported tweeters.